Brace yourselves, I’m beginning by getting all Wikipedia on your arses… Approximately half the people in the world have breasts.
Shocked? Surprised? Nah, me neither.
They are everywhere, in front of women wherever they go, in newspapers of a, how shall I put it tactfully? Shit quality. On the front of magazines in major supermarkets scantily clad women appear – the nipple may be covered but the boobs are well and truly out. In smaller local newsagents one only has to cast an eye up the top shelf to see an array of tits staring back at one.
I’m not about to get in to the rights and wrongs of Kate Middleton’s privacy being invaded, maybe the press have been ‘out of order guv’, maybe she should ‘expect it’ being one of the most famous women on the planet or maybe it’s a classic case of sibling rivalry and she’s deflecting attention back away from her sisters arse. I don’t know and to be frank – I don’t care.
I’m also not going to get into the gender inequality of the ratio of images in the media of women’s bodies as opposed to men’s bodies. I think we all grasp the fact that as women, and let me put this as eloquently as I can, generally… shit is harder.
What I am going to write is this – THEY ARE JUST BREASTS. They are everywhere, what’s the big deal. Effectively Kate has been saying, and I am somewhat summing it up in leymans terms here…
“WHAT THE HOLY MOTHER OF MOLY. THOSE ARE MY BREASTS. HOW DARE YOU ALL LOOK AT MY BREASTS? I WILL SUE YOU. I WILL TAKE YOU DOWN MOTHER DUCKERS. STOP SHOWING EVERYONE MY BAPS”
She is not helping ‘the sisterhood’. Wouldn’t it be much nicer if she actually said:
“Yes those are my breasts, I don’t particularly like the fact that the world has been shown my norks but at the end of the day they are nothing to be ashamed of. I am a woman and they are part of me. One day I may have babies and I may choose to use those to feed those babies. There are people starving in this world, war torn countries, death and disaster, how about you media bods let those issues take centre stage?”
Surely Wills should take one for the team, step up to the plate and work an old military diversion tactic at this point? Consider mooning at the paparazzi, possibly showing a good inch of scrotum…just a thought.
Some women like to ‘get them out’, some women like to cover them up but ultimately do they really warrant the hype they get? Where do you stand on breasts? Not literally ‘where do you stand on breasts?’ you understand – I’m sure those establishments exists but I do not desire to locate their whereabouts. What I mean to ask is, do you feel that breasts are portrayed predominantly as sexual objects and how do we start to change their perceptions to what they really are, a part of the human body, one for not only fumbling with but also for feeding our offspring ?
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