The Twitter Orgy, the joys of married sex and more...Thrusting Thursday

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Welcome to Thrusting Thursday, a one off day of all things related to sexy time / bonking / doing the horizontal tango. You get my drift...The point of this post? Meh I dunno, it's me lamenting the 'glory days' of not wearing PJs in the evenings, the pre-spooning phase of my marriage, of cleaning my teeth before nookie and of holding in a fart rather than trying to make it sound squeaky for comedy effect. You remember the time you first met your husband / wife / partner, that feeling you would get when you had waited all day just to see them and the explosion of butterflies in your stomach as you kissed...and the inevitable knee-trembler that followed? Well I think that mine may have fallen out when I was hoovering as I'm sure that it's M.I.A.

Family life is lovely but small children, work, daily stresses and bin bag juice leaking onto my feet does tale it's toll in the boudoir department. I must have heard the phrase "I am Queen Scamp and I love lots of colours" at least 67,893 times today, cleaned up 3 lots of doo pooh not to mention made burgers from raw mince. They are not sensual things ,well not for me at least.

But I cannot moan, I have a loving husband and thanks to MAKE LOVE NOT SNORE I managed to get not one, not two but three doses of Papasaurus lovin' yesterday. I went for the 'stop moaning about not getting enough and go get some' approach. It was lovely, really, but I feel like I need a short holiday now, somewhere I can sup tea and eat cake in peace and not have to shave my legs just 'in case'.

I have a sexual problem at the moment you see. Papasaurus and I are getting to a point where we tend to end up pulling funny faces during love-making if we are facing one another. I have no idea when the age of looking smoldering ended and the cross eyed glances began. But it has. So for now we are favouring the good old fashioned spoon, at least until we can get over the mental issues of face pulling.

This week in the evenings on Twitter there has been quite a lot of adult themed banter. Mainly centered around a few hard-done-by-bloggers not getting enough boo-yakka-sha in the rumpy pumpy department . I was also privy to the SHOCK CONFESSION that Boo and Me once made love to Ant and Dec's 'Let's Get Ready To Rumble'...psyche!

Last night was a Twitter Orgy, think of the Twitter Partys you may have seen and add a dozen rampant, if not slightly hairy legged bloggers and you get the idea. It was of course really all that sauce-pot MotherVenting's fault not to mention Boo and Me and her smutty ways egging me on with their sexy time back chat. How does one tackle a Twitter Orgy?

10pm came and car keys were thrown into the fruit bowl - here are some choice snippets that sum up the 45 minutes of debauchery to enlighten you...

Firstly choose a suitable avatar...

Yummy Mummy Flabby Tummy"LOL good luck! I suspect twitter #orgy would be much easier to clean up than actual #orgy"

Edward Curtis: "In a spirit of sexual mysticism, we shall devour gravity anyway"

Mammasaurus ""I'm gonna need help here he's a 2 woman job""

The iDad " is that a giant gold penis in your photo?!"

MotherVenting " Is that photocopier broken? Let me bend over and fix it with my huge spanner #neverbeentoanorgy"

CafeBebe "Wowie Zowie! ;)"

Nicola Blunders " Right. Let me take my boots off *begins unlacing enormous boots*" and "For pity's sake. *unlaces boots from the top* Is there any tea?"

Adventures of an Ordinary Parent " If you could, would you have Ant or Dec? Or both?"

SAHDandProud "Peter Andre sex tip. Alka Seltzer on the flange. Fizzy."

Mammasaurus ""We can hug and maybe cry for a bit if you like and then tell each other that we are still friends..."

MotherVenting " Is it nestled in your bum crack? *sexy music*"

BooandMe "Peter Andre and flange in the same sentence *retch*"

MotherVenting "I'm getting lost. Who's doing whom?"

SAHDandProud"Could be worse... you could have NO CAKE. And no muff."

Nicola Blunders "If anyone says snatch again, I'm calling the police."

MotherVenting "No. I'm hiding sausages in my stockings though"

Mammasaurus ""best not mention Ant and Dec around @BooAndMe_ as it sets her panties alight!" "

" the ant&dec thing is gonna haunt me forever now isn't it"

Mammasaurus upon reflection " it was a very middle class relaxed affair, there was sherry and some impromptu jazz playing in the background, easy to misread ;)"

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