Dear Real Mum - the conclusion to 'TickGate'

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If you choose to read this please also head to Boo and Me to find out about how you may be more visible on line than you think - even if you think you are anonymous. Dear Real Mum,

You are obviously an intelligent person and I respect your views although I do not agree with them personally.

Regarding "blogging and blagging": You commented on my blog

"Oh my mistake, here I was thinking you were bloggers, not the new breed of blaggers that only care about their stats. If you get this thing, called a job, you can buy what you want, instead of relying on your stats being good enough to tap up a company and get it for free."

You also talk about bloggers 'blagging' on your blog.  May I suggest that instead of voicing your opinions in an offensive and personal manner that you channel your energies into leading by example? You claim to be a popular, well read blogger with many readers - surely you could tackle this particular issue more sensitively on your non-anonymous site. I believe that some people will agree with your opinions and that your point has an element of validity but by ranting and being over-controversial for attentions sake you lose much of the credibility that your viewpoint holds.

You talk of  'a new breed of blaggers'.Yes more people are doing reviews for companies but companies do not have to say yes and hand out products and let's not forget that they profit from working with bloggers too. By using the phrase 'a new breed of blaggers' you offend all newer bloggers. Do you feel personally threatened by the fact that there are great new bloggers emerging into the blogosphere ?

Regarding your personal comments on my parenting skills:

I am not a perfect mother, I do not pretend to be and I don't actually believe one exists. I am not a better parent than you and you are not a better parent than me. Motherhood isn't a competition and casting harsh  and hurtful comments upon other mothers is never acceptable. You claim to be saying what others are thinking bu too poilte to say - I disagree, you hide behind anonymity, if your opinions are so important to you then stand by them with your reputation.You wrote, amongst other things...

 "It makes me sad that I pay more attention to my dog than she does her child.

All of those who say it isn’t bad, that she isn’t a bad parent, etc should be ashamed of themselves too. Frankly I think it is completely neglectful and I don’t mind telling anyone that. I know a few of you and I have spoken to at least one of you today about this and their thoughts are completely different to their post here. Just because some people dont want to hurt anyones feelings they post and say things are ok when they are not. I don’t mind hurting your feelings because I actually feel sorry for your daughter.

You may have your friends jump to your defense and tell you I am wrong but I can assure you it is only because they don’t have the balls to tell you the truth.

I do have one thing to thank you for, I shall be blogging about parenting later because the fact anyone would think this is ok tells me exactly why the social services are so busy!"

You cannot claim to have 'the balls' to tell me the truth hiding behind faceless anonymity.

I, and two others, have spent most of the past 2 days looking in to who you could be. Many bloggers have said to 'leave it' but I believe that this sort of nastiness should not go unspoken of.

And now on to who you are...

You have registered therealmum.com and chosen to keep your registration details private and therefore you can not be traced to that domain.

You gave out an email address in a comment on your blog where you were very rude to another blogger who was commenting on the post where you liken me to a mother who rubs her own childs face in faeces. This email is therealmum1@gmail.com. The email of your that you used either to set up that account or as a backup is  d*******a@s**.com.

You may hide behind your privately registered domain but your IP address is your IP address. I know the area which you are in. Now if I were to post that IP up and everyone went into their dashboards to their comments and simply put it into their 'search' box I wonder how long it would be before we had a match?

Will I share that with the rest of the blogosphere? No. I know of a few bloggers who live in your area and to give out that IP address would end up casting suspicion on innocent bloggers and that is not fair. The last thing I want is some kind of witch hunt breaking out, people are upset, offended and suspicious already - these are not good emotions to be promoting in the blogosphere.

One person can't be judged on just a handful of nasty comments and misguided opinions alone. Hopefully upon reflection you will see that there are better ways of expressing yourself than at the expense of other peoples feelings. As long as there is the therealmum.com writing  judgement and offensive posts there will be a notherealmum.wordpress.com writing alongside.

Ending on a positive note your actions made my teenage daughter (left) actually phone me just to say how upset she was and how she loves me (and didn't even ask me for anything).I've seen the blogosphere is an even more supportive and caring place than I knew it to be before. Also it shows there is an important lesson we can all learn in privacy - you'll be surprised as to what people can find out about you.

You -The Real Mum is on Twitter - TheRealMumBlog , you were following me and I am not the only blogger you are following. People like you only need one or two bloggers to follow to be able to see the bigger picture on Twitter and what your non-followers are tweeting. People could please take time to double check that you aren't following them too . For some reason I was already following you, though I note you only follow a few actual bloggers amongst companies. If this has been a personal attack on me as a blogger rather than a general by chance clash of opinions then I feel very sorry for you.

I bid you farewell - Tatty byes!

Mammasaurus