Romantic Faux Pas Confessions Of An Overworked Housewife and Mother

spooning.jpg

There have been a couple of rather humorous romantic/sexual faux-pas in the past month that I thought I'd share with you (being the caring, sharing type that I am!) Today marks Mamma and Papasaurus's 5th Wedding Anniversary, here's a little photo of us on our honeymoon in Iceland so you can feel our cheesiness. We have only just remembered that it's today and I feel rather guilty that I have pretty much forgotten about it. In turn that guilt has set my mind-cogs whizzing and I got to think about all things 'Romancey' - and that's not Lady Gaga Bad Romancey - it's more a Barry White "oh yeahhhh" romancey.

The first brief tale would have the title 'When Good Romance Turns Bad' if it was some non-prime time tv programme. I'm happy to say this one's Papasaurus's faux pas and not mine...

It was late one night and we'd headed up to bed. Being a married couple of nearly 5 years this didn't involve ripping each others clothes off as we went up the staircase, oh no, Papasaurus had clambered into bed and I returned from my nightly teeth cleaning to join him. It's fair to be said that I had 'jiggy intentions' at this point. I removed my PJs and tried to fling my fluffy bedsocks off seductively before sliding into bed to join him. As I wriggled up close I was met with 'IT' - no you smutty minded party people not that, 'IT' being intense onion breath !

When quizzed over the overpowering aroma he simply replied "Well I was hungry and there was half a red onion on the side"

WHAT ?! THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE !

Second brief tale was sadly my faux-pas...

Something that you don't get told about when you get married is that sooner or later your sex life becomes a series of 'spooning' with the odd 'wildchild rampant moves' added in now and then. On this occasion it was 'spoon o'clock' and following the 'extremely emotional climax' I didn't even roll back over to say goodnight, oh no I just did a thumbs up sign over my shoulder and flicked the bedside lamp off - that right there has got to be the height of sexual impoliteness !

Soooo bearing all that in mind I'm going to pull out all the stops for a memorable Anniversary evening...any tips on ultimate romance for me are most appreciated!

And to leave you with, so you don't all think I am some insensitive hag here's a piccy that I drew for hubby before we got married as a wedding day present...