Fact #1 My neighbours 19 year old son sunbathes naked. Fact #2 He also likes to practise his kick boxing outside in the rain on hot days wearing nothing but little white shorts.
Fact #3 He is big fat 10 on the Mammasaurus Hottie Scale.
No, I'm not a net curtain twitching neighbourhood snoop - Ozzys bedroom happens to overlook my neighbours back garden. I'm unsure of the name of the 'hottie' in question so for the purposes of making this post easy to read we'll call him
'The Python' 'Juan' (as it sounds a bit exotic). I first spied this young man when my 14 year old daughter was staying last school holidays and pointed him out to me. There followed a good ten minutes of covert spying on him and some mother-daughter giggling with her telling me that he had 'really good hair', I of course was far too busy checking out his arse.
Imagine my delight when I headed upstairs a few weeks ago to change a rather fruity smelling nappy only to spot Juan out in the garden, in the rain, wearing only a small pair of thin white shorts, practising his kick boxing, his perfectly toned torso dripping with rain ...ok ok sorry I'm getting all Jackie Collins now - but you get the idea! Obviously I texted my daughter to tell her what I had seen and a lot of LOLs passed to and fro.
The problems began when I updated my FaceBook status to "I am looking at my neighbours fit 19 year old son kickboxing in the rain wearing nothing but small white shorts from Ozs bedroom. I may have to spend some time 'tidying' his room now to perv some more!"
A cheeky status update I thought - Wrong! I had an influx of comments such as 'that's only 3 years older than your son!' , 'that's sooo wrong!' and 'you should hang your head in shame'.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOA! hold on a cotton picking minute !
Am I a 36 year old mother of 8 ?- yes!
Do I enjoy a spot of gardening and knitting ? - yes !
Am I a sexless being ?- NO!
Which got me thinking how everyday in such newspapers as The Sun you'll see the likes of 'Keeli,20,Bournemouth' gracing page 3 with her annoyingly pert boobies to the delight of menfolk, and ladies, nationwide. This seems apparently acceptable these days. So why have I been made to feel bad for ogling a young man ?! If I was 24 and he was 19 would people have had such a problem ? And if I was a bloke eyeing up a 19 year old girl I bet I'd be getting some pats on the back from other fellows.
My boobies may sag and my tummy muscles have given up the ghost but I am still a sexual being - loud and proud !
So ladies and gents, boys and girls, seeing as I appear to be 'out of touch' with 'da kidz' the question is this - at what age does it become unacceptable to eye up a fit young man ?