I’m feeling delicate at the moment. Not ‘fragile’, fragile implies that I could break at any moment but ‘delicate’ says “Give me an ounce of crap and I may crumble a little”.
I’ve decided not to blog at all about my marriage disintegrating, I’ve decided that at 37 years of age it’s about time I grew up and thought of other people a little bit more. Like my children, Papasaurus (who I still intend to be one of my closest and bestest friends in the world), my mother, people who know us both and so on.
When you have struggled with an eating disorder in the past it has a habit of popping up every now and then just to remind you that a. there’s no escaping it, b. that it can and c. that no matter now hard you try to kick the bugger off you it will always be clinging on somewhere.
I’ve touched on my problems with eating briefly before. I didn’t develop an eating disorder until in my mid 30′s and when I did the eating disorder that chose to consume me was a purging disorder – I believe it’s classified at an EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified).
Here’s the deal though, Eating Disorders aren’t cool and they aren’t just something that happens to teenage boys and girls who are over emotional and get sucked into a world of pro-ana websites. Yes I’m suffering at the moment, emotional upheaval has led to purging once more.
I may have chosen to not to write about my relationship breakup but I am choosing to write more about eating disorders and body image issues in the coming weeks. Sure I’ll break it up with photo posts and the odd tutorial but there will be some emotional stuff on it’s way so I warn regular readers in advance that if you think that will upset you / bother you / not interest you then maybe give this blog a wide berth for a couple of weeks x
I’m linking up to Sticky Fingers ‘The Gallery’ this week – the theme ‘Delicate’ has provoked me to open up and talk more about how sometimes I struggle – hopefully in doing so I can help myself.
I'm Annie and I live in the depths of the New Forest. Mother to many, wife to one, blogger, creative type, lover of real books and a bit of a lush.
So sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time at the moment (((hugs))
I know I have been offline lately but I’m glad I caught this post so I could send you cyber hugs & let you know that I support you, no matter what. xo
We’re all here for you Annie. Please ask if you need us.
I’ve been thinking about you lots this last week or so. You’ll get through this. I know you will because you’re one strong, brave, awesome being Mammasaurus.
Big love
xxx
P.s. no way am I giving you a wide berth, I’ll be here every day xxx
A standing ovation from here! Talking about being delicate is very brave and we all salute you. xxxxx
bi hugs from me Annie, very brave post and thouhts with you wishing you throuh this tough time xx
OH love! I am sorry you’re feeling like this. I know we don’t know each other too well, but I’m just a tiny drive away if you’d like some support xx
Oh my lovely girl. The best thing anyone can do in these circumstances is to recognise where they are struggling.
Lots and love x
Like this post, you are brave and beautiful. Sending you love and hugs.
You may feel delicate at the moment but you are an inspiration too. Thanks for being so open and I hope you get the support you need to kick the disorder back into touch. x
You are amazingly brave. Perhaps it’s an unintentionally inspirational post, the photo alone is thought provoking. I am so sorry that you are going through these things, hopefully your wonderful support network will help you get through this. x
You are so brave and amazing. Lots of love and hugs x
Big hugs xx
I have some cotton wool here to wrap around you and make you feel a little stronger. You are such an amazing inspirational woman and I hope you regain your strength soon. Maybe just your body’s way of telling you to relax.
((((hugs)))) xx
What Alison said – you are a tall tower of solid inspiration, and don’t you forget it!! Hugs x
Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. Much love & hugs to you x
Hugs from me too. You are, as so many others have said, an inspiration. I think you’re great. I wish you lots of strength to get through the next few months. x
I’m sorry you aren’t feeling great, and your life is so challenging at the moment. Eating disorders are a bugger, and for me it is still a daily battle so I understand where you are coming from. Thinking of you.
Being open and honest is the first step towards feeling better soon. We are all here for you, if you need us and you keep in mind you are a massive inspiration to us all and all the people who will come and read your posts over the next couple of weeks x
Oh gosh, I’ve only just decided to get back on the blog wagon so had no idea about Papasaurus. Hope the end result is the very best outcome that you can hope for from a horrible situation.
I sometimes joke that I have a purging disorder…for that I am incredibly sorry, it must be so tough to have it for real. Best of luck to you, and I will be reading daily from now on, even if I don’t always get the chance to comment. Thinking of you.
Hello lovely lady. You’ve been so supportive of other bloggers and now it’s our turn to be supportive of you. I think you’re being really brave by speaking out about eating disorders. Massive hugs to you x
I think it is amazing that you are feeling delicate, rather than fragile. That makes me think that you are not going to crumble and that is good news to hear. Of course every one has the odd wobble, but stay strong and remember you are very much loved mammasaurus x
Mamma Mamma Mammasaurus. You are so brave to blog this. Every day I admire you just a little bit more. For your expertise, for your photos, for your humour and now for your brutal honesty and your admission of struggling.
I am back and just up the road. Spare bed, hot tub, copious gin.
Love you lady
xx
You are wonderful. Big squishy hugs and clinking glasses xxx
You may feel delicate but you are incredibly strong and brave. I hope you find your path through the latest turmoil.
awww Annie i just want to give you a gurt big hug. it is bound to be an awfully hard time at the moment and i hope you will get through it ok be back to your lovely, funny self.
also , better to blog about how you feel and what you are going through than bottle it all up.
good luck my lovely xxxx
I read this post earlier on this week, but only got around to commenting now – take every moment at a time, there many people including me who are thinking about you and willing you to better times X
you can get through, it may be part of you but it doesnt have to become you. Sending you hugs x
Thinking of you and thank you for writing this post. I’m still struggling with an eating disorder which developed in my late 30s and one of the biggest barriers to recognising it and seeking help was (and still is) my fear that it would be dismissed as something that happens to teenage girls.