I’ve been reading an awful lot of Fifty Shades reviews recently… and because y’all were writing about reading it, that made me want to read it too. So I did. Not just the first one, but all three of them; the whole trilogy in three nights.
If you too have been drawn into the strange world of Christian Grey, I’d like you to do something for me. Put down the book for a minute… close your eyes… and create a picture in your mind.
It’s your crush. Your everyday crush, that one person who brings a little bit of sparkle to your day. Don’t be embarrassed – we all have one.
It might be the sweet, shy guy who does your dry cleaning, or the optician with one brown eye and one blue. It could be your doctor, your butcher, or the guy who delivers your loo roll. Maybe it’s the builder you smile at on the way to nursery drop off. Or the guy who picks up litter around town – one time you saw him picking up a couple of shabby-spined Shakespeares in a second-hand bookstore. It could be that dad who you sometimes see at the swings, or the scruffy guy collecting coins for charity outside the supermarket. Maybe it’s your doctor, your daughter’s teacher, or the cute student that delivers your pizza.
I don’t really care who it is, but I want it to be someone.
Now listen. These are the people that fantasies are made of. These are the dangerous, thrilling, delicious thoughts of men who are almost within touching distance… but not quite.
There is no Christian Grey out there. But there are a million men, in a thousand small towns, who are very worthy of that pillow pressed between your legs.
Put the book down, people, and start using your imagination.